When the Goan gets tough, the tough gets Goan…to the bathroom!

We have spent the past five days here in beautiful Palolem, Goa, India. The crescent beach, surrounded by swaying palm trees, is blessed with unforgettable sunsets and utter relaxation. The beach is gorgeous, yet undeniably purely Indian, as cows saunter along the sand, dogs and children chase each other into the waves, and locals hawk their cheap wares to you (seemingly every two minutes until you learn to either completely ignore them, pretend you’re deeply involved in some marvelous novel, or look at them with such complete and utter contempt and scorn that they are afraid to approach you  once more) after finding their own nice little spot in the sand to go ahead and sneak a quick little urination in before getting back to work harassing you. Ahh India….


rickshaw ride in the rain

After a seemingly endless 24-hour period of transporting ourselves by every means available (like seriously, we took a  rickshaw through the pouring rain to the airport, then an airplane from Udaipur to Mumbai, a rickshaw from the airport, a train to another spot in town, walking for miles, a 16 hour overnight bus ride to Goa, then another two hour bus ride to Palolem), tensions were understandably high. We headed to the beach with all our stuff and found a seemingly nice little place to get some needed food and relax for a minute (and get Kaitlyn a drink…or two). We then found a decent little place to stay for the next four nights, unpacked our stuff, and headed back out to the beach to watch the sunset and enjoy a “sunset drink” as Kaitlyn has dubbed it. Everything was just fine and couldn’t be better! After drinks, we headed out to the “town” (a dirt road with shops and restaurants) to try some of the famous Goan cuisine.
With my taste buds having not matured since the sixth grade (I’ll take some chicken nuggets please), I was proud of myself for deciding that I once had chicken vindaloo while in Tallahassee and I liked it so I was actually looking forward to trying some authentic Indian chicken vindaloo, one of the most authentically Goan meals available. “Good for me,” I thought, “I am growing up!” One of the restaurants we passed along the way just happened to be called “Casa Fiesta,” specializing in Mexican food, which is something that Kaitlyn just loves. We couldn’t pass up the opportunity for some “Mexican food” while in India after eating curry after curry (and noodle after noodle for me!) so we decided to have dinner there. Plus, being the schemer that I am, I figured that Kaitlyn would order something Mexican and that I could dazzle her with my new found courage in trying an Indian dish. I could, for once in the past month, be the one to rub it in HER face that I ate Indian and she, in fact, did not.

The waiter came and we placed our orders. “I’ll have some guacamole and chips and quesadillas,” she said, as I held back my elation at what was about to follow. “I’ll take the chicken vindaloo my good sir,” I proudly declared, “Take that Bagnato!”

Our dishes came and at once, I knew something was awry. Call it buyer’s remorse over not selecting the chicken fajitas or call it a sixth sense about what was going to happen over the next three days, there just wasn’t something right about my chicken vindaloo. I ate it all anyway (mostly because I just couldn’t bear to eat the alternative of crow!). 

I woke up in the middle of the night several times. I will spare you the details of my life over the next few days. Needless to say, it was not pretty and my “vomit streak,” as Jerry Seinfeld would say, came to a very unfortunate demise that evening (and I can’t even blame it on a black and white cookie!).

Kaitlyn was the absolute best nurse I could have ever asked for, which makes me wonder just how amazingly good her sister Brittany must be since she actually is a nurse! Her dad was also a life saver in helping us determine what  prescriptions we needed to help piece me back together again. After two days of taking care of me, unfortunately, Kaitlyn then started feeling ill herself. We spent Sunday cooped up on our bed inside our little beachside shack underneath the fan, too lazy and sick to move, playing games of Phase Ten in between drifting off to sleep.

Now, Monday, we are both feeling great again though my appetite, and the weight I could already barely afford to lose, is far from back. After two trips into town to the pharmacy to get some drugs as prescribed by Dr. Bagnato (I don’t really understand the concept of a pharmacy anymore. It seems that overseas, anyone can just walk in and get whatever medication they want, no questions asked, and for really cheap. Kinda makes you wonder about what sort of pharmaceutical cabal goes on in America), I think we’re back on track to continue our journey into the world, and just in time too as tomorrow morning we are off to Chiang Mai, Thailand!

Jaisalmer

Before we got to Goa, we of course hit up several other Indian cities along the way. We tried to see as much as possible in a short amount of time. Unfortunately, we were both also getting very sick of India and Indians in general so my descriptions and recollections of each place may seem like a blur. Nevertheless, I will try to briefly recount each place for you below:

Jodhpur, “the blue city” – Pretty crappy, overrated, don’t waste your time in ever going, and, to top it all off, not even very blue at all!

Jaisalmer, “the golden city” – Very cool, especially for India. It’s a desert fort with a living city still inside of it. We were less than impressed however after being to the Middle East and inside countless medinas, all older and more enchanting. A very cool place for a change of pace of India though.

Pushkar, a visit to the infamous “Camel Festival” – India in a nutshell. A crazy swath of humanity intermingling with animals, walking around barefoot, pushing and praying to countless gods. For us, it was a bearable eight hours before getting the hell out of there!

Udaipur, “the city of lakes” and dubbed India’s most romantic city – Definitely worth checking out! It was still real India, but at a far more relaxed and manageable pace. It was pretty, definitely, but I’m not so sure about anything in India being “romantic”….other than proposing at the Taj Mahal, of course!

Mumbai – We literally walked through it en route to Goa. It was definitely much more bearable than Delhi and shows promise of a future, i.e. there weren’t many cows wandering around aimlessly.

Joe had been grooming himself as the next winner of the moustache competition at the Pushkar Camel festival, but...

after seeing his competition, he kinda chickened out!

After more than a month of being here in India and finally being able to visit the places I have wanted to the most for all my life, I can honestly say that I’m spent and I’ve had quite enough. I really can’t describe this place whatsoever. It’s chaos incarnate, a flurry of flamboyance, and the safest place in the world to be a cow. You’ve personally kicked my ass India, albeit the chicken vindaloo or of sheer exhaustion. You’re a sweltering place in November and I can’t even imagine what you’re like in the “hot” months. You’ve taken our pictures for God knows what reason, told us “good price” one too many times, spit incessantly, stared at us, touched us, and made us sleep atop what were surely filthy sheets all too often. You’ve bobbled your head in an ambiguous manner for the last time. You’ve made me hate my life at times but then gave me the capacity to understand just how lucky I am to be alive and to be American. You’ve shown me the power of faith in something bigger than myself, something greater than the here and now. You’ve made me appreciate cleanliness, expectations, manners, courtesy, good service, safe food and potent water.

You’ve taught us the same lesson Ralphie's kid brother learns in “A Christmas Story” when he decides to lick the frozen pole outside his school. We were always curious about doing it, were told what to expect, but wanted to try it out anyway, the consequences of which we will still feel for months long after we’re freed from your grip…

You’ve been an incredible experience of which neither of us will ever forget!

Take this upcoming holiday to think about just how much we really do have to be thankful for and how lucky we are to have been born as Americans. We definitely will be! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!